Just Bella: A Love Story
by ThatPanicGirlE
Summary: Falls, spills, burns – it is all part of a daily routine for Just Bella. When she accidentally lands on a ballet student, Bella gets fired from the ballet studio and ends up as an order taker at the In-N-Out Burger. Hilarity and romance ensue. Crackfic. Rated M for adult stuff.
1. Chapter 1

_First of all, this has been a long standing dream of mine to write this fic. It all started as a joke about "other" career aspirations for Bella just in case being a Vampire didn't work out for her. I'm glad that I've given it another chance. I've literally laughed out loud while writing this and as ideas come to me, I jot them down and try to create hilarity behind every day, off the wall situations. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have fun writing it. I'll try to update once a week._

_And now, the misadventures of Just Bella: A Love Story._

* * *

Style and grace have never been Bella's forte. This was apparent when she landed ass first on top of a seven year old in the ballet studio where she worked. She was given the little kids because no one else would work with them and her boss knew that she couldn't do too much damage to them.

Boy was she ever wrong.

The poor little girl never saw it coming until this monstrous ass came right for her face. She was knocked out on the floor and the parents threatened to sue the school. Poor Bella was let go immediately.

So Bella sat in front of a man who could be her father's age discussing the in and outs of In-N-Out Burger. She never realized her life would take such a dramatic turn but she had wants and Charlie, her father, being a man of great character, only catered to Bella's needs... definitely not wants.

"Now Miss Isabella," "Just Bella," she interrupted. "Well Just Bella, it says here you've only held one job. You worked for Ms. Cope's Dance Studio. My daughter took lessons there." His eyes got real big and then he sighed. She knew she was busted and that he wouldn't hire her. Poor Isabella's ass story had been the talk of the town.

The manager cleared his throat and readjusted his tie again. He looked like your typical grease pit employee. You could also tell that he spent entirely too much time eating at the In-N-Out Burger since his belly probably poked out further than his little buddy.

"I understand that mistakes happen, and if hadn't of been for a mass exodus of employees from my restaurant, I wouldn't hire you. But since we are short help, you are hired. Just do me a favor? Stay as far away from the customers as much as you can. I don't need a repeat of what happened at the dance studio."

Bella nodded and accepted her God-awful work shirt and makeshift name tag. The manager, who she finally realized was named Harry, had put "Just Bella" on her label-maker made name tag.

* * *

Just Bella, stricken with the inability to walk a straight line or chew gum and talk at the same time, has gone through her entire life wondering what it would be like to be a normal, graceful human being.

Her morning started out like normal. She slipped on the same rug as she had every single morning since her dad placed it unbeknownst to her ten years earlier. That first fall was very nasty. She broke her arm in two places and even though now she catches herself before she hits the floor, she refuses to move it from beneath her bed.

She recovered quite nicely and went straight to the bathroom. Staring at her mousey brown hair in the mirror, Bella wondered if she should cut it. She tried doing it once before and ended up slicing her finger so bad they had to put six stitches in it. From that point on, Charlie decided that it would be safer for her to stay away from sharp objects and removed all pointed anything from the house. Imagine steak night at the Swan residence. Yes, butter knives all around. All the steaks would obviously have to be cooked extra tender.

Miss accident-prone slowly walked down the stairs listening out for her dad. He'd been in a foul mood ever since Mrs. Cope let her go from the dance studio. He kept muttering something about, "My daughter's ass making an ass of me," or something to that nature. Bella couldn't even face her own father.

So when she heard him slam the front door, she finally slipped into the kitchen. She stared at the red and yellow work shirt and sighed. She only had three months till she would leave this awful town and be on her own. She even had a calendar put up in the kitchen signifying the day she would leave Forks to become her own woman.

That is if she could survive long enough before then.

The day went by slow and she dreaded putting the work shirt on. Red and yellow were never flattering to her skin. Hell, at that point, nothing was. She refused to go into the sun. That was the main reason Renee, her mother, sent her to live with Charlie. Apparently her mom joined some "religious" group that worshiped the sun and well Bella was too pale to stay with them. Renee sent her packing as she followed her sun-worshipping leader Phil around the country preaching the advantages of a tan.

Bella grabbed the shirt and headed upstairs. Tonight would be a disaster; she could feel it in her bones.

* * *

"And this is where you'll take the orders. Everything is pretty simple. This isn't BK, and not everyone can have it their way, so lay off the special orders, k?" the overly huge assistant manager said as he pointed out the computer screen.

Bella nodded and tried her best to remember everything her new assistant manager had told her. He was rushing through everything and she felt completely uncomfortable with anything she'd been told thus far. She was scared to death though of saying so and hoped she could just wing it.

"So that's everything. Oh also, keep an eye out for this guy," Emmett said as he held up a picture of a teenager who could be at least her age. "This is Jasper. He likes to come in and steal the fountain drinks. He'll bring in his own cup and try to take it and run out. I've caught him at least three times."

She shook her head.

"Also, Harry asked me to make you sign this. It's a document stating that if you do get hurt on the job, we will not cover you for worker's comp, giving the past circumstances of some fall you had?"

Bella blushed and agreed to sign the paper.

"Well good luck and if you need anything, let me know. I'll be back here doing... well nothing."

Emmett walked around the corner and she stood at the counter looking completely lost. She went over in her head at least a hundred times what she was supposed to be doing. She stared at the touch screen and tried to place a fake order so she would at least have a grasp of what she needed to do. Instead, she accidentally rang up a hundred cheeseburgers. She heard a giant groan from the back and someone scream, "We've got a big order!"

"Wait, that's not right," Bella screamed into the microphone.

A head poked from the window behind her and said, "Quit fucking with the system. That was totally not a funny thing to do to us back here." The blonde girl stared Bella deep into her eyes and she shuttered. The girl scared her and all Bella could say was, "I'm sorry." The blonde slammed the window shut and Bella felt herself almost burst into tears.

An hour passed before a single customer walked through the door. Bella tried her best to keep herself calm but she was a nervous wreck placing the order for the overly large woman.

"So that'll be twenty five regular burgers and ten large fries?" Bella said.

The woman put her finger to her double chin and said, "Oh honey wait, I may also want a shake, but which flavor?"

So Bella waited for another five minutes until the woman decided against the shake and ordered ten extra orders of fries. Bella took her money, gave her the change and waited for the back crew to send the greasy concoctions through the order window. The large lady took the towered mess of meat and buns to her table. Bella stared, amazed at how this woman could consume all this food in one sitting.

Emmett poked his head around the corner and said, "Just Bella, how's it going?"

She groaned, "It's going great." She looked back at the woman and Emmett just laughed.

"That's Esme Platt. Her husband left her all this money and his death depressed her so. You know, she used to be a beauty queen and a socialite. Just look at her now. Such a waste. Back then I would have hit it. Now I just wouldn't know where to put it."

Bella gasped and then her heart sank. This poor woman was trying to eat herself to death.

"She ordered twenty-five burgers," Bella whispered.

Emmett nodded, "Yeah that's about right for today." He looked at the calendar on the wall. "Today is Tuesday. She has her schedule of eating out. Monday's its Taco Bell, Tuesdays here, Wednesday the Sizzler and Thursdays she'll take on the Chinese Buffet. She used to go to the all you can eat pizza night but they kept running out of toppings so the manager asked her to not come back."

Bella felt her tummy shake up a bit. The thought of eating all that unhealthy food made her sick. She started turning twenty shades of green and Emmett saw the despair in her eyes.

"Bathroom's that way," he pointed as she ran around the corner.

Bella heaved her entire breakfast into the toilet of the In-N-Out ladies room. She knew that she would also be the one cleaning it and decided to go ahead and do it. After everything, including herself, was straight, she walked back out to Emmett and the blonde chick laughing at her.

"Poor Just Bella, did that make you feel all icky sicky?" the blonde said, patronizingly.

Bella just shook it off. "Babe, I really need to talk to you about something," the blonde said to Emmett.

"Rose, not here. How many times have I told you to not call me babe in front of other employees?"

Rose had her hand cupped around Emmett's balls. Something told Bella that was more than a sign of what their relationship was really like. She quickly darted her eyes away and waited on another customer. The night went on slowly and finally at ten that night Bella was free to leave her yellow and red hellhole.

* * *

Bella went home with her feet barking at her. She had completely forgotten what it was like to stand in one place for more than an hour.

She pulled her sneakers off and tried her best to fumigate the smell of grease off her. She stayed in the shower for almost an hour until Charlie started beating on the door demanding half the water bill if she didn't hurry up and come out.

She found her favorite towel and slipped her robe on. Charlie was still standing at the door.

"Finally, I've gotta drop the Browns off at the Superbowl."

Bella turned her nose up and darted fast from the doorway. She shut her door, slipped on her rug and plopped onto the bed. She could still smell French fry grease on her, even through her strawberry shampoo. After fighting with her pillow for a little bit, Bella drifted off to sleep, trying her hardest to not think about the heartbroken huge woman, or Rose's hands clamping on Emmett's balls. That was enough to give her nightmares.

* * *

The next day went smoother for Bella. She started getting into the routine of taking orders and even got the majority of them right. Only one customer complained that she put cheese on his burger when he specifically asked for none. She secretly wished she could have recorded his conversation because in fact, he did request it. Bella didn't argue and got him another burger.

Around closing time, Bella was about to break the coffee machine down when she heard a voice from behind her say, "Please not yet, I could really use a cup right now."

The voice startled her and she dropped the glass coffee carafe onto the tiled floor, sending shards of glass and coffee everywhere.

"Ahh, Shit!" Bella screamed as the hot coffee, and glass hit her ankles. Lucky for her she wore pants that night, and lucky for her, she wore socks.

"I'm so sorry," the kind voice said. "Can I help you clean it up?"

"No, you've done enough damage," Bella blurted out.

She looked up and saw the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen in her life. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just so accident prone, it's not even..."

Bella found herself on her ass once again. She slipped on the puddle of coffee and she landed with a hard thud. That time, the glass caught her hand and she was bleeding pretty badly.

"Oh my God, you're hurt," the beautiful boy said. "Here," he handed her a napkin. "Put pressure on it, fast. It'll help the bleeding."

"What are you, some kind of doctor?" she asked, trying to stand. Her butt was really sore and she was sure she also got glass in her ass cheek.

"Actually yeah I am."

"Oh," she said. "What kind of doctor?"

"I'm a baby doctor," he said, handing her one of his cards. She stared at it and he realized, "Oh sorry, you can't take it. You may need stitches, can I look at it?"

"What does a baby doctor know about stitches?" she asked, fumbling with the now crimson napkin. It was taking Bella everything she had to not feel sick.

"Well, when male babies are born, I have to circumcise them, so I know a lot."

That was more than Bella could take. She again found herself puking at the In-N-Out Burger. Emmett finally came from the back with his shirttail sticking out of his zipper.

"What in the blazing hell is going on out here Just Bella?"

Emmett looked down at the puke, blood, coffee and glass and just shook his head.

"Just Bella, clean all this up right now before the health inspector shuts us down. Good God you are a mess."

Bella blushed and all she wanted to do was dart out of the restaurant but her pride was standing in the way. Emmett left her to her demise. She finally got the bleeding to stop and put a band-aid on it from the first aid kit. The lovely doctor just stood there, watching her, then took a seat in a booth near the counter.

She swept up the broken glass, mopped up the puke, blood and coffee and then let out a sigh. Bella looked over and saw the doctor, still sitting in the booth watching her.

"I'm sorry, I'm really a mess," she said.

"It's okay, how about I take you out for some coffee sometime soon."

Before Bella could say yes, a dark, long-haired boy stepped into the door.

"My Bella, there you are, I've been looking for you all night. It's time to go home with your big daddy."

The Doctor's mouth dropped and then he walked out the door, completely disappointed.

"Jacob Black, you complete fucktard, look what you did!"

"What?"

"That guy, who happened to be a doctor, just asked me out for coffee and you just gave him the impression that we were together. Way to go."

She picked up the card with her good hand and ran her fingers across the name. "Dr. Edward Cullen, Pediatrician."

She felt her heart sink again and the miserable life of Just Bella Swan continued on.

* * *

**A/N: I'm looking for a beta for this story and warning, I'm writing this as I have time. I hope you enjoy the adventures of Just Bella.**


	2. Chapter 2

So while Jacob was trying to make amends with Bella for being a complete dooshenozzle, Dr. Edward Cullen, baby doctor, was trying to figure out what on earth he saw in this clumsy, rude girl. He also thought long and hard about what kind of parents would cruelly name their child "Just Bella."

Nonetheless, Dr. E couldn't keep his mind off her - her mousey brown hair, the way her nose would crinkle up at the sight of her own blood. This was definitely a man stricken in love.

He was quite upset though when he realized she had a guy. She probably went for that rustic, grease monkey type and didn't think that she would be interested in a doctor. But it was love at first sight for the too-hot-for-his-own-good baby doctor and he let out a sigh as he put the key into the lock at his mom's house.

That's right. Despite being a very successful doctor, Edward had a slight problem. He was a mama's boy. After his father, Carlisle, died, he was left to take care of his overly obese mother, Ms. Esme Platt. Now most of you may be wondering why her name wasn't Cullen, and that's an easy answer to be honest. Esme was so distraught over her husband's death, she even went back to her maiden name. She begged Edward to change his last name too however he said that he already had business cards drawn up with the last name Cullen, and that would be too much of a waste of money. Esme agreed.

"Where the hell have you been Teddy?"

Esme had been a huge supporter of Edward "Ted" Kennedy and even named her only child after him, even supporting the nick name. Poor Edward couldn't ever get a break from the insistent name calling once that got out in high school.

"Moooooom," Edward whined, "quit calling me Teddy. I went to get coffee after my shift at the hospital and well, I didn't get any."

"And why not?" she asked as she knitted another sweater for her 200 cats they had living in the house.

"The girl at the In N Out Burger got hurt so I was attending to her wounds." He even hated the mere thought of mentioning another girl. Ms. Platt was very protective over her little boy and no girl would ever be good enough for him, especially one that works at a fast food restaurant.

"Serves her right. She was probably ogling over you and not paying any attention to what she was doing," Esme said as she looped the yarn around her sausage fingers.

"Mom, you know... I mean I hate to ask this, but have you considered, I don't know... slowing down on the food?"

Esme let out a gasp. She looked hurt and distraught.

"Edward Teddy Kennedy Masen Platt Cullen, don't you ever sass your mama like that again, do you understand me?"

Edward dropped his eyes and nodded.

"That's a good boy, now come here to mama," Esme said as her arms opened wide for his embrace, with her bat wings flopping in the air. Edward had to stop himself from getting mesmerized by the way they just swayed there like a swing in the summer breeze. He jumped straight into her lap as she tussled his auburn locks and sang a sweet piano lullaby to him until he fell fast asleep.

* * *

Bella sat on her bed staring at the four purple walls in her bedroom. As much as she hated to do it, she had to call her best friend Alice. They met in high school when some sasquatch of a woman shoved Bella's head into a toilet and then flushed. Alice, being the fashion guru of the school, did the same with her hair and made it into a fashion statement. Since then, they've been the best of friends.

As Bella dialed the number, she kept thinking about the hunky baby doctor and about how he would probably never walk into the In N Out ever again.

"Hello Bella, thank you for calling Madame Alice, how can I show you your future today?"

"Wait, how did you know it was me?" Bella asked. She was still convinced that Alice wasn't psychic. She once predicted the winner of Miss America and from that moment on, Alice was convinced she was all seeing and all knowing. She bought a deck of tarot cards, a 900 number and is now known as "Madame Alice" to her psychic phone friends.

"I am the all seeing and all knowing Alice, I know everything about you."

Bella thought about it for a moment then sighed. "Alice, you Miss Cleo wanna-be, you have caller ID."

Alice giggled, "So yeah you are calling to tell me about your week aren't you?"

Bella didn't even struggle to understand that question. It was Sunday, which meant confessional time. Even though Alice was a horrible psychic, she was a great listener.

"Actually yeah, It's just been that bad."

"Let me see if I can tell you what happened?" Alice asked.

"I'm not in the mood to play this game," Bella said as she filed down the corns that started to develop from standing at the burger place day in and day out.

"No seriously. You were working the other night and this gorgeous doctor came in, scared you... you dropped a pot of coffee on the floor, cut your hand, puked and then Jacob embarrassed you in front of him."

Bella was astonished. Alice was right on the money for the first time ever.

"Alice, how the fuck did you know that?"

"I am the all seeing, and all knowing..."

"Bullshit, tell me the truth," Bella interrupted.

"I just started seeing this guy Jasper, who by the way is like a total cheapskate. Apparently he likes to stalk out your In N Out Burger for free drinks. He's teaching me the fine art of not spending a dime on anything. So far I've gotten like $300 in free food coupons and I've learned to get all my drinks at fast food joints for free. You should see the stack of reusable cups I have."

It hits Bella then. "So this Jasper saw the whole thing? Great, as if Emmett and the baby doctor seeing it wasn't bad enough..." she trailed.

"I guess it could be worse. You could have passed out in your own vomit, which I see you doing in the near future."

"Fuck you Alice, I'm going out for a bit."

"I love you too lady. By the way, whatever happened with the baby doctor."

"I have no idea, after Jacob left, I haven't heard from him. I do have his card though. Do you think I should call?"

"Yes... ooh wait, gotta go. One of my clients is calling. That'll be $18.95 for today's session."

"Fuck you again, Alice." Bella said as she slammed the phone down.

* * *

What Bella didn't know was that the other client was none other than Ms. Platt. She called Alice once a week to "talk" to her dead husband about daily matters that needed attending to. She had no idea how to control her "flaky" son of hers so she would consult Madame Alice for everything.

Funny enough, Alice had no idea that the same woman who spent nearly $100 a week in "advice" from her was the same woman who mothered the son that Bella was freaking out over. So the conversation took a rather weird turn for Alice once the conversation started in on her son.

"You know Madam Alice I just don't understand why on earth my son would even want to stray from his mama's house? He's got everything he could ever want here, plenty of food, love, and all the things that any man could want. What else could he want?"

Before Alice realized what she said, the words "sex" fumbled out of her mouth like the worse case of verbal diarrhea ever.

"Madame Alice, how dare you say something like that? My Teddy would never do something like that. He knows better."

Alice rolled her eyes as she listened to Mrs. Platt rant and rave over this "hussy" who has taken her boy's attention away from her. She filed her fingernails, painted her toenails, and was just about to shave her pits when Ms. Platt finally finished her rant.

"So do you think I could ask my dear, late, great husband what his thoughts are on this?" Esme asked of Alice.

Alice sat up in her chair and found her deep inner man voice.

"Esme, this is your husband," the bellowing voice shouted. Alice has perfected this. She couldn't actually channel Carlisle, but it did make Esme happy, so she kept up the façade. Besides, how on earth would Esme ever find out?

"Carlisle, my darling. Oh I miss you so much. If you only knew what your son was up to," she said with a sigh.

"I dooooo knowwww," the manly voice said. "Leave him be Esmeeeee. He needs to get laiiiiiid."

And with that Alice nearly lost it. She had to cover up the phone as she literally rolled on the floor laughing. She knocked over her crystal ball right onto her pinky toe and broke it.

She accidentally hung up on Esme and immediately called 911.


	3. Chapter 3

As Bella bolted through the door of the Forks emergency room, she was scared to death that something horrible happened to her dear friend. She kept imagining walking into Alice's room and finding her attached to all kinds of machines. Bella had to fight back the tears as she entered the room.

_Keep calm, don't show her you're upset. She'll be okay _Bella said to herself. She just knew it was bad.

That was until she saw Alice.

"Hey Bella, what's shaking?" Alice said as she sat on her hospital bed. A young internist was wrapping her pinky toe in a giant bandage.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing down there sweet cheeks," Alice asked as she tossled his hair. "You're like five. Shouldn't you be home by now getting ready for your day at kindergarten?"

The young doctor glanced up at her and said, "Keep it up and I'll make sure that toe never heals properly and you'll never wear Manolo Blahniks ever again."

Alice gasped and looked at Bella. Bella giggled. She knew that would get Alice to shut up for a moment.

"Some people," Alice said as she rolled her eyes.

Bella sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed. "The way the nurses sounded on the phone made it out to be you were dying. What the hell did you do?"

"I was on a call with one of my clients and she kept going on and on about some girl trying to steal her son. I channeled her late husband and had myself laughing so hard that I knocked my crystal ball onto my foot. I broke my fifth metatarsal."

"Yikes, I'm glad you're okay though. I'm sure I'm here to drive you home, correct?"

Alice nodded. "I don't think I'll be driving anywhere for a while until this heals, correct doc?" The doctor rolled his eyes and finally finished. "You're done. Just stay off it for a while and if there are any problems, come back to see us."

"Can we go now?" Bella asked as she stood. The doctor handed Bella a list things to do for Alice's foot and a prescription for pain killers.

"He gave me the good stuff," Alice said as she winked at Bella. Bella glanced down at the prescription for 800 milligram ibuprofen and laughed.

As Alice hobbled down the hallway of the hospital, Bella kept reading the at home instructions, totally not paying any attention to where she was walking. Unbeknownst to her, the infamous baby doctor was drinking a cup of coffee and walking in her direction. The two of them slammed into one another, coffee covering the both of them again for the second time that week.

"Shit," Bella screamed out. As she glanced up while wiping hot coffee of her chest, she realized the hot baby doctor was standing right in front of her, his scrubs covered in coffee himself. She blushed as he tried to use his bare hands to wipe coffee off her boobs.

Alice stood off to the side, laughing so hard she nearly fell but her crutches caught her.

"Oh my gosh, Just Bella, are you okay?" The unbelievable hot doctor asked.

"I guess so. I think you burned my boobs though," she said, blushing. The baby doctor stared down at her chest and turned a bright shade of red.

"I um, I'm sorry. Let me get you to a nurse," he said stammering over his words. He was embarrassed that he'd gotten caught.

As Alice hobbled behind the odd couple she realized something.

Bella was infatuated with this goof of a baby doctor.

The way she bit the edge of her bottom lip as they walked side by side and they way she tried to walk as close as possible without jumping him in the hallway said it all. From that moment on, Alice was determined to get the two of them together.

Bella rounded the corner and as the great doctor grabbed a wheel chair, she tried to make him understand that a wheelchair was completely unnecessary.

He wouldn't listen.

As he pushed her to the desk at the emergency room, he explained to the charge nurse the situation and she was whisked away to another room. As Edward cut the corner to the room, he took the turn just a little too sharp and tossed Bella out of the wheelchair and onto the floor. Alice, who was having a hard time keeping up found Bella unconscious on the floor and baby doctor freaking out over what he'd done.

"What kind of doctor are you?" Alice asked as she tried her best to wake Bella.

"I'm a pediatrician," he said.

"Figures," Alice said as she poked Bella with her crutches. "Wake up slut, wake up."

"I need to get someone to help her," Edward said as he walked away. Alice bent over and Bella opened one eye.

"Is he gone?" she asked as Edward walked away.

"Yeah, are you okay?"

"No, let's get out of here," Bella said as she stood. She helped Alice hobble as fast as she could to the nearest elevator.

As Edward turned back around the corner, he watched as Just Bella waved from the closing elevator door.

Later on in the lobby of the hospital, Alice had a few burning questions for Bella.

"What the actual fuck was that?" She asked as she sat down in the lobby chair.

Bella plopped down next to her and sighed. "That was Dr. Edward Cullen. He's a baby doctor. And way hot. And out of my league."

Alice laughed. "He's as much of a klutz as you are. What was all that about?"

Bella looked down at her chest and laughed. "It's the second time this week that I've been burned and covered in hot coffee. I met him at work when he came in for coffee and I've been thinking about him non-stop for days."

Alice smiled as she, nodded in agreement, and then she punched the shit out of Bella's arm.

"Why the hell didn't you talk to him?"

Bella grabbed her arm and let out a huge yelp.

"That actually hurt Alice!"

"I know. Now why haven't you talked to him?" She said, balling her fist up again.

"I don't think he's into me. I mean besides. Would you be into me?"

Alice shook her head. "Bella, I told you that was a onetime thing in high school…"

"Not that goofball, I mean what guy would be into me? I can't even hold a steady job. I come home each day smelling like grease and shame."

"I have a sincere feeling that it will all work out okay for you," Alice said, smiling at Bella.

"Alice, don't start that Psychic crap again," Bella said pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Just Bella, can we talk?" a sexy voice said from behind her.

* * *

**A/N: Hilarity ensues next week...**


	4. Chapter 4

Alice sat on the super uncomfortable hospital chair as Edward walked Bella towards a less crowded spot in the hospital to talk to him about God knows what. As Alice pulled out her cell phone to check her messages, a man around forty sat down next to her. He had beautiful eyes, a gorgeous complexion and smiled at her with a grin that could have made any woman's panties drop.

Alice glanced over towards the man and smiled back. She felt a sudden weird sense, almost like she knew the man but shrugged it off. He spoke softly to her.

"You know, I thought this was a great idea at one time but now I see that maybe I've made a mistake," he said as he pulled out a pen and a piece of paper.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Alice asked as she put her phone back into her purse.

"No, I don't think you do," he said. "But you apparently know Dr. Cullen. Could you do a favor and give him this?" He handed Alice a piece of folded paper with something written on it.

"Um, sure," she said taking the paper. She felt like she was involved in a covert, top secret mission and the paper would disappear in fifteen seconds.

"Thanks so much, and by the way, your friend is perfect for him. I always imagined he'd end up with someone as pretty as her," the mysterious figure said to Alice as he walked away and out the doors of the hospital.

And with that last comment, Alice quickly realized who she sat beside.

"Oh my God, I can communicate with the dead," she said out loud. Everyone who sat around stopped what they were doing and stared at her for a moment before going back to their own conversations.

Alice opened the piece of paper and read the inside.

"Edward, you've done me proud. Love, Dad."

Alice grinned at the first encounter ever with a ghost.

* * *

As the events with Edward's dad unfolded across the room from him, he tried to find the words to tell Bella how he couldn't stop thinking about her since she nearly killed him with a coffee carafe.

However, as he stood in front of her the words just wouldn't escape him. He fidgeted with his fingers and the hem of his doctor's coat as Bella stood patiently waiting for the beautiful boy to speak. Finally he blurted out "you're pretty." Edward immediately blushed and looked away.

Bella blushed too and as they stood saying nothing, but a lot at the same time, a screeching voice from behind interrupted what could have been the best moment of their lives.

"Edward Teddy Kennedy Masen Platt Cullen, you get away from that girl right now." Edward blushed again but for a totally different reason. This time it was from embarrassment as his mother rode around the corner in her Hoveround.

"Mooooom," Edward whined again, "I'm a grown man. Please don't do this right here."

"I will do as I please, I am your mother," she said. She reached up and grabbed Edward by his ear and led him away from Bella.

Bella stood shocked. She realized right then and there that she wasn't the one who needed rescuing. Edward needed rescuing from his own mother.

"Edward," Bella shouted. "Wait."

Bravely Bella ran over to Edward, who still had his ear held hostage by his mother. She kissed him softly on the cheek and slipped her phone number into his doctor coat pocket without Esme realizing it. She gave Esme an evil look and walked towards Alice.

Bella could hear Esme gasp as she walked away.

* * *

"I swear on everything that is holy, I saw his ghost Bella. You can believe me or not but here is the proof." She handed Bella the note that the mysterious being had written to her.

"Alice, ghosts cannot write notes okay?"

"How do you know, have you ever seen a ghost write a note before?" Alice waited for an answer as they pulled up to Alice's apartment. This would be interesting. Alice lived on the top floor of a five story building.

As Alice took each step of the stair case carefully, she kept swearing up and down that in fact she did see the ghost of Carlisle Cullen. Finally after the last step had been reached at the top of the stairs, a blonde boy stood at the doorway.

"Alice, oh my gosh, are you okay? I was getting worried sick about you." Bella soon realized that the boy who stood before her was the infamous drink stealer her manager Emmett had warned her about.

Jasper quickly realized that Bella worked at In-N-Out Burger and almost bolted until Alice stopped him.

"Jazzy, she's not going to tell on you, I promise," Alice said screaming down the hall at Jasper.

Finally, he walked back up, not making eye contact with Bella and helped her open the door. Jasper made sure Alice got settled in as Bella called her dad to let him know Alice was okay. He mumbled something about how her clumsiness must be contagious and hung up on Bella. She glanced at her phone and put it in her pocket, shaking her head.

"So what happened my little ray of sunshine?" Jasper asked as he sat at her feet. It was almost as if he worshiped her or something. Alice smile down at him and told him the story, the whole story from start to finish. After she was done, Jasper asked a very important question.

"Are you going to give this baby doctor the note or what?"

Bella looked at Alice and she shrugged. "Do you think I should? What if it wasn't a ghost but some lunatic trying to play games with the Doc?"

Bella shrugged as she thought of how much she couldn't stand the woman who could be her future mother-in-law. The thought of how much the reception alone would cost made Bella nearly faint.

"He seemed sincere and very proud of your baby doctor," Alice said as she sipped from bottle of water.

"Either way, I doubt we'll be seeing each other again," Bella said with disappointment in her tone.

"Why not?" Alice asked.

"There are a lot of reasons. Look at me Alice, I can't even chew gum and talk without nearly killing myself or someone else."

Bella walked behind Alice's couch to go into the kitchen and tripped over her cat Jane. Jane was a bitch. She deliberately took a piss in a pair of Alice's Steve Maddens one day when she refused to let him into her bedroom. From that point on, Alice and Jane have had a love/hate relationship.

Bella quickly bounced back up. "I'm okay," she said but realized that no one cared. Jasper and Alice were off in their own little world. Bella picked up her purse, handed Jasper the awesome 800mg prescription for ibuprofen and headed back home.

* * *

_There are some things that cannot be explained. For instance how could a man like Carlisle Cullen disappear for so long and not leave a trace? Why would he allow his wife and son to believe he was dead? The only person who could answer that was Carlisle and apparently he wasn't saying a word to anyone, not even me, and I'm telling the story. So for now we'll leave that as a mystery._

* * *

Edward sat at his piano in his mother's house staring at the sheet music which held the notes of his more recent song. He also stared at piece of paper that held the number for the woman of his dreams. He was writing a song for Bella but if you told his mother, she'd have a stroke on spot. He told his mom that it was a song about the spring and she loved it.

As he sat pecking at the notes, his mother came around the corner in her Hoveround and stopped right at the piano. Edward shoved the number into his pocket.

"This was the best investment your father and I put into this house," she said pointing at the piano. "Did I ever tell you how we came across it?"

"Yes mom," Edward said but before he could finish, she started the story all over again.

"The year was 1988 and your father took me on a date to see Yanni live in concert," she said, holding her hand near her heart as though the story was near and dear to her. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He knew where this would go.

"I'd never seen a concert of this caliber before and couldn't believe my ears when I heard him play."

Ladies and gents, I hate to inform you but she wasn't talking about Yanni.

Nope. Not. At. All.

"The way his music flowed from his keyboard made my heart melt and it was from that point on that I always knew that my son or daughter would have a piano to play as beautifully as that man."

_(Ms. Platt was referring to John Tesh. He played with Yanni for a couple of years and even though some of you who are reading this may not have any clue as to whom Yanni or John Tesh may be, I'll break it down in two words: Entertainment Tonight. You're welcome and back to Esme's story.)_

"A year before you were born, we heard that John Tesh was holding a charity auction and one of the items he sold was this very piano. I remember that day like it was yesterday." Esme fingers now began tracing her neckline as though she remembered something far sultrier than an auction. Edward tried to ignore his mother's gesture and stared back at his sheet paper.

Finally Esme snapped out of her alternate reality and finished the story. "We brought the piano home and now it sits here today. Some beautiful music has been made from this piano." Edward rolled his eyes and Esme backed up, beeping as she did.

"Well you continue your cute little song about spring. I'm going to go have a doughnut. Love you baby boy."

Edward sighed as he continued work on his song about Bella and trying to pack away the suspicion about his mother and John Tesh.

* * *

**A/N: There you go JenniP. Your John Tesh fantasies have come true.**


End file.
